How To Be Lazier At Your Own Comeback Performance Like Britney Spears

Um, like in case you haven’t seen the lamest comeback back/teenage-masturbatory fantasy-killer that was Britney Spears on the MTV Video Music Awards I’ll recap for you here.

• Get the shittiest hair extensions you can find, like yellow party paper or dye a mop blond and put in on your head.
• Just move you lips, no matter what the music is playing, saying, or doing. The audience can still here the music, so what does it matter right?
• Don’t lose that last 15 pounds.
• Let all of the real dancers dance.Simply shake your ass from time to time and smile nervously as though someone in the crowd is planning your assassination. Then, during your own performance, think about where else you can lose you cloths to get more attention since Kevin Federline doesn’t love you anymore.
• Run off stage as fast as you can after the performance.
• Take roofies.
• Snort cocaine.
• Get high.
• Chug a beer/take 3 shots.
• Inhale some paint.
• Go watch the kids and read them the Bible.

Get it? Good. As much as we hated it, we loved it. Comeback in a can is the newly coined phrase – we may be laughing now, but she’s still making more money in a month for her has-been ass that we are with our “brains”. Speaking of, so is Miss Teen South Carolina.